A Rhapsody of Stars
by Anonymous is a pretty bad name
Summary: Harry has always had a strange obsession with stars, secret to all but his closest friends. But he never truly believed that someone could understand him... Until a chance meeting with a centaur. Firenze/Harry
1. A Prologue

~.~.~

**A Prologue**

~.~.~

Harry first saw the night sky at the age of five.

He had never seen the stars before. For him, the moon was only a slight smudge in the sky, seen partially in day.

It wasn't done on purpose- Honestly, his aunt has better things to do than deprive him from the view. It was simply a combination of an early bedtime and a locked 'bedroom' with no window.

A coincidence. Perhaps stranger than most.

So Harry sat in the garden, locked out of the house for the night -the first incident of many- and watched the sky grow dark.

He had known the sky was dark at night, in the abstract way people knew the world was round. It was a whole different thing seeing it in person.  
And despite the light pollution brought about from the street lights, he could still see the stars...

And he looked at them, and looked at them, and felt something _break_.

It was beautiful. Craning his neck, he saw the millions and millions of shards; twinkling like the broken glass of the TV set Dudley had once broke... And he wondered if they were sharp, pointy things up close, like they drew at school- and like the shards that had stuck into his fingertips while cleaning, stinging and refusing to come out even hours later.

Twinkle twinkle little star indeed. The rhyme had never made more sense, now that he could see the little stars up like diamonds in the sky.

He sang it now, twirling around the garden, occasionally tripping over a stray flower bed. His neck hurt from looking up, but the strange euphoria filling him made feel insignificant. There was only him, the sky, and Privet Drive.

And oh, how beautiful the sky was. He drank the sight in, like a dying man. Like a man in love. For that was what he was.

That night, Harry age 5, fell in love with the unreachable. He never recovered.

_/In the midst of a class mate's show and tell, Harry asks innocently __**What're they like? The stars?**__ The children in his class scream in laughter, as they always do with his silly innocent questions. The teacher, who has yet to decide if he's being silly or really just that clueless, quickly quietens them down. __**Like little white spots,**__ she replies eventually, after a long pause of thought.__** Millions of them... All across the sky.**__ She looks a bit confused; but Harry just smiles back, happy at the answer./_

~.~.~

My first fanfic, ever.  
Please be free to tell me how much I suck! ^^


	2. Chapter One

~.~.~

**Chapter One**

~.~.~

By the time he was ten, Harry's obsession had grown to encompass his entire life.

Every stack about astronomy in the school library: Read cover to cover, pictures traced carefully with curious fingers. When he didn't understand something, he took notes meticulously on stolen paper. When he had no paper, he memorised them. Entire paragraphs, pages.

Occasionally, he would take one of the books home to his cupboard. If it was found, Uncle Vernon would shred them with relish - like he would do to anything Harry owned when the mood came upon him. When Harry went back to the librarian, he would make up an excuse about losing it, and borrow another one.

And life went on like that... Until one stormy night, a giant man knocked his door down.

~.~.~

"-And we have astronomy at Tuesday nights. Bloody chore it's going to be too, with double potions next morning!"

Harry paused, and looked at his time-table again: Astronomy, every Tuesday night. With the school's early curfew, he had expected to make do with just his new books on the subject from Diagon Alley; and perhaps the occasional glimpse of the sky from the dorm windows to fuel his obsession.

"It's outside?"

Ron paused, and looked again "I think it's at the top of one of the towers. Percy said something about it –I usually just tune him out, I can't remember much... Near the Transfiguration class? The astronomy tower is on the left. Or right. Can't remember. The lessons are waay at the top, though. Heck of a climb."

"Wait- An astronomy _tower_? _Just_ for astronomy?"

"Yeah, I guess" Ron grunted, and went back to his breakfast.

Harry hid his grin behind his timetable.

~.~.~

The problem was only being able to go to the tower _one_ night of the week. Come Christmas, even that problem was solved unexpectedly with the cloak. While Ron was dreaming happily of the potential trouble they could get into, Harry dreamt of stars.

Also unexpectant was his other presents.

"What, you didn't think we didn't notice, did you?" Ron snorted when he saw Harry's incredulous expression at receiving a new Astronomy book from Hermione. He eagerly ripped Ron's open to reveal candied telescopes, charmed to actually work.

"I know you're rather secretive about it" Ron continued "-but it's hard not to notice. I mean, you should see yourself during astronomy, all starry-eyed."

Harry hadn't been really hiding it- it just hadn't occurred to him that he had someone to tell things to now. He blinked a bit emotionally at the pile, and felt a bit fuzzy inside. When they climbed down to the Common Room he glomped Hermione in thanks.

Later, when they were cosily around the Gryffindor fire, all gnawing on his telescopes; Hermione asked him curiously,

"You know, if you're so interested in astronomy... Why is your homework so bad?"

Harry thought how to explain how he didn't trust Professor Sinistra, how he didn't trust any adult. How he didn't have any reason to. Instead, he said "They don't really expect me to, I suppose"

"What?"

"Everyone. When I first went to Diagon with Hagrid, everyone was all on about how I looked like my mum and dad; how I was just like them. And Ollivander was like _He was so good at transfiguration. She was brilliant in Charms._ And then he looked at me, and I couldn't just go 'well, I'm not really'. You know what I mean?"

She blinked "Not really"

"Well, I just didn't want to get into it. Everyone's weird expectations. Plus there's everyone going on about this Voldemort-"

"GOD don't SAY it!" Ron screeched.

"-Sorry. But yeah, I just figured I wouldn't make a fuss and they'd let it all go sooner or later. Keep my head low. You know."

They all sat down in thoughtful silence. Eventually,

"I don't think that's going to work, mate" Ron whispered gravely. Harry winced.

A few months later, when they were being half strangled to death in Devil's Snare, Harry would remember this and ruefully agree.

~.~.~

It had been obvious rather quickly to him that magical knowledge on the sky was less complete than the muggle version, lacking the extra details science added to the picture. Unlike muggles, magical astronomy focused on the sky's effect on potions and various plants and creatures. And this did not really interest him.

But occasionally, there would be a paragraph here and there –and occasionally an entire book- on something interesting. Harry's favourite was the theory that a person could tell the future from the sky. Muggles had it, of course, but not with the actual _possibility _it could happen like with wizards.

Despite this, the subject had very little on it. Divination was not really taken seriously, even by Wizards. It seemed that unless you were a 'true' Seer it was generally accepted that actually _seeing_ was impossible. _A load of poppy-cock,_ Madam Pince had snorted after seeing his check-out.

But it made sense to Harry, in a certainty that came from deep in his bones. He felt the stars call. He felt them trying to tell him... Something. Something he wanted to understand. If only he knew how.

~.~.~

"You've got to stop doing this" Ron finally said one night from his bed, unable to keep quiet after the fifth night of Harry's midnight excursions. Harry frowned, dead on his feet from lack of sleep, but said nothing.

"Look, I know you're a bit frustrated-"

"Frustrated? _Frustrated_? Try going bloody MENTAL!" Harry screeched. Ron winced at the volume, and glanced worried at the beds. Seamus and Neville continued snoring, and Dean seemed content. Harry sneered, and tried to continue in whisper. "Damn it- There's like nothing interesting on astronomy. Everyone's only interested on it as a tool. This is good for this potion, that plant- They don't see! It's so much more than that! We memorise a couple of star names and call quits. I already know all that! I want _more_. It's up there, all around us, so much more than just names. Whole planets, huge balls of fire thousand billion miles from us! They don't _see._"

"And going up the tower every night, all night, helps you show them?"

"No" Harry sighed "I just feel better about it. They're so beautiful, you know."

"No, I don't." He sighed, and seemingly deciding something for himself, he got up. "Come on, I'll go with you. You can show _me_, at least. That's one person down, yeah?"

Harry looked at him in surprise, and then smiled warmly "Yeah. One down."

He chucked the cloak over them, and after careful coordination, they shuffled out of the dorms. Ten minutes later, they arrived at the tower relatively unscathed. Harry spread the cloak on the ground as a blanket, and they laid down to stare up at the stars.

"And you know, with Hermione that's two." Ron whispered thoughtfully, after a while "And I bet I could bribe Neville with some liquorice, and he'd be three."

"He'd probably come even if you just asked him nicely"

"Yeah, he would." Ron smiled "He's a good bloke like that"

They stared at the stars a while more

"You know, I don't really want anyone to know. Not even Neville." Harry fidgeted with the hem of his night-shirt "It's like... Private. You know? You and Hermione can know -you're my best mates- but anyone else? It's too intimate"

Ron hummed in thought. "So, er... It's like your secret hobby?"

"That's a way to put it lightly" Harry giggled

"Yeah" Ron snorted. After a while, "So how much are you holding back in astronomy?"

"I know most of the book already."

"Oh... Then-" Ron gave a wicked grin "You could do my homework for me, couldn't you?"

"Not a chance" Harry grinned back. The matter sorted, they turned back to the sky and spent the rest there, looking up.

~.~.~

Another evening found all three of them on the floor of the tower. The stone floor pressed to their backs, pleasantly cool, as Harry babbled on.

"See that? That really bright one. That's Venus. It looks a bit like a star from here, but it's a planet really you know."

"And that, over there. That's the Cygnus constelation. The brightest one is called Deneb, and it's one of the furthest away from us... But it's like a hundred thousand times bigger than the sun, so it's still one of the brightest stars in the sky."

"It's much more interesting when Harry explains it" Ron mused out loud "They still all look like pretty lights to me, though."

"Ron!"

"Nah, he's right. They are, really. Really lovely lights. When I first saw them, I thought they were glass diamonds, like the ones on chandeliers. I wondered who put them up there."

"Well, going by guess, I'd say one of Hagrid's parents"

They all dissolved into hopeless giggles. Eventually, they sobered, and watched the sky in amicable silence.

Eventually, Hermione realised what had been strange in that statement and frowned. "What do you mean...? When you first saw them?"

"Yeah. Well, I was rather little. I was a bit silly then, in my defence"

"No- not that. Just... You remember the first time?"

"Yeah?"

"Wow. I don't remember that far back." Ron mused "Far as I go is Bill going to Hogwarts. I remember Charlie crying for hours."

Hermione smiled "I remember the first day of kindergarten. Our teacher was really nice."

Harry frowned, and tried to think of a way to explain that he'd probably been older than that when he first saw a star. He couldn't. So he settled on something else.

"Aunt Petunia, she'd... Er, _let_ me go to bed late. I remember sitting in the garden, and watching the sky. Like now. It was... So beautiful."

"You're lucky you remember. Maybe that's why it's so important to you! Childhood memories..."

Harry didn't really think so, but he kept silent. It would sound strange, to explain more, wouldn't it? They already were so accepting, he didn't want to push them away with weird explanations.

How he wanted to crawl up, feel them, embrace them. How he also, at the same time, wanted to stay on the ground and gaze up, eternally. Spending all of his life, looking up at them. Ignoring time, life, responsibility. And how the stars called to him, watched over him. How he didn't miss his parents, because it was like he had a million, perfect mothers and fathers with him every night. Better than the originals. Better than everything.

How he sometimes got scared, had nightmares of finally reaching them, his soul burning into ash, the ashes burning into stardust. Becoming nothing. Becoming the star.

So he stayed silent, and stared at the sky.

~.~.~

This was a nightmare to upload...

R&R please! :D


End file.
